Ode to Mom

Dead World

There is no light in the sky yet the house is awake/ 
The lights are dark yet the voices still whisper/
Voices of anger and confusion slowly take hold/
The only happiness is found in my mind/
Past the heaviest guard in a place my Conscience does not want me to find/
In a place no one but I can ever have the smallest glimpse of its location//

My Mind is a tricky place/
Often I find myself exploring it rather than listening in on the bickering voices/
I find peace and happiness where my Conscience wishes me not to go/
My Conscience is an indifferent thing, always ravaging on like a completely different being/
My Conscience brought this darkness upon me/
Slowly killing me until it drove me mad/
slowly devouring my sanity/
Slowly murdering my mind//

My Conscience took over that which was once free/
Free to explore the deepest depths and most far away reaches of my Imagination/
Making trees into castles in which my royal mind could reside/
The creeks into great seas to explore/
The hills into mountains to conquer/
My Mind was a wonderful thing... until it was overrun/
Until the guards of the castle fell/
Until the seas flowed over/
Until the mountains were burned with fire/
Until my Conscience turned into the thing that was my downfall//

My Imagination hid in the deepest depths and the highest reaches/
It hid from me in the places I knew best... But just out of reach/
It hid so only once I let my burden go could I find it/
It hid, and watched, pained as my Conscience corrupted it's beautiful Mind/
The Mind it had created so carefully/
The Mind it had fed/
The Mind it helped conquer/
... taken from it//

My life was ruined/
It was ruined by the person I hate the most/
By the only person who knew my weaknesses/
By the only person who knew hot to take down the guards/
By the only person who knew how to make the seas over flow/
By the only person who knew how to burn the mountains/
My happiness gave me something to fight for//

I hated myself/
I tried once to kill myself but my Imagination wouldn't let me go so easily/
I destroyed things...houses...crops...... and people/
My Conscience cheered me on from the battlefront but I could always hear the silent sobs of/
My Imagination, hiding just so only I could hear it/
I wept with it, wishing I could only go back and fight for and against myself//

I ruined my life/
I am the person I hate the  most/
I am the person who once hated the world and everything in it/
I am the person who burned the forests/
I am the person who flooded the deserts/
I am the person who dried the seas/
I am the person who hurt myself/
Yet, I am the person who blamed it on others/
I am the person who was cast out, ignored in terms of power/
They thought me hopeless/
So here I stand, alone/
But I am not alone/
My Conscience cheers me on with every house I burn and life I end//

And my Imagination slowly comes home/
With every home I don't burn or life I don't end/
Slowly slinks out of its hiding place/
I can feel it healing the parts of my Mind unkept/
I can feel it burning me with every house I do burn and life I do end/
It is silently countering evil/
Killing him from the inside/
But we both see the end coming/
We both know what will happen//

My Conscience has formed too tight a grasp on me/
It has seen my Imagination out of the corner of its power/
If my Imagination controls my head once more, it will never get me back/
My Conscience has corrupt me beyond repair/
Even as I feel myself growing happier as I try to ignore the voices that follow me/
I know I cannot go back/
But what do I do?/
Leave my Imagination?/
Abandon my one and only hope?/
Let id die in the uncontrolled fires of my Mind?/
I couldn't... I wouldn't.../
...But I will//

My Conscience will force me to stand alone at the last earthly day/
And watch it burn in hell, watch it suffer for the joyful life it gave me/
...And I will e forced to turn my back and leave/
I will be forced to hear it breathe it's last, dying breath/
...And I will be forced to walk away from it all/
But I will not be forced to cry/
I will cry on my own and my Conscience will try and heal my wounds with words of war and death/
And I will abandon it too, forever alone, never to see light again/
And I will sit in the dust and shadows as I watch the world fall/
As I watch the world tear itself apart, piece by bleeding, suffering piece//

I cannot speak of what I will become, but I know it will not be human/
I used to be human though/
I used to suffer their fate/
But my Conscience saved me/
It took me to a better place where I saved those who suffered/
I didn't burn down their houses in wrath but in sympathy/
I did it for their own good//

And my Imagination tortured me/
It led me to believe that it had once loved me/
That it had built a great empire and that I had shot it down in wrath/
But my Conscience had taught me better/
It had taught me not to talk to strangers/
...or was that my Imagination...?/
I can never tell anymore for you see.../
All I speak of has already some to pass/
And somehow...//

...Even my mind had left me/
Alone on this barren world I have created for myself/
... but my Imagination made me do it...?//